The Demons Within

"Anxiety is love's greatest killer. It makes others feel as you might when a drowning man holds on to you. You want to save him, but you know he will strangle you with his panic."
Anais Nin, The Diary of Anais Nin 4


One of the occupational hazards of being human is the incessant rationalizing. I wish I could Switch the Voices Off sometimes and just surrender.


Have you seen A Life Less Ordinary? Quirky film. At thirteen it spun me off my pivot. Well, at least this bit did :

Celine: So you're telling me that successful relationships... are made in heaven?? Not founded on the daily practicality... of two people being prepared... to tolerate the imperfections of one another?
Robert: It's not successful relationships, Celine. It's love. And it comes from a strange and wonderful place... that we don't know about.
Celine: So you also reject the idea that love is merely an emotional adaptation to a physical necessity?
Robert: Completely.
Celine: Are you serious?
Robert: Fate intervenes in people's lives. In ours, for instance. Fate brought us together. It kept us together. We were destined for one another.
Celine: Fate had a pretty strange way of making its point.
Robert: But that's part of the beauty of it. It's inexplicable, unpredictable... and absolutely beyond control or understanding.
Celine: But you nearly got killed.
Robert: But I didn't... and here we are.
Celine: Do you have any substantial evidence to back all this?

Robert: None at all.

Celine: And you realize that it's absurd and irrational?

Robert: I know that.

Celine: Then why do you believe it?

Robert: Because, Celine, I'm a dreamer.


Celine: ....well, I guess that makes two of us.



Bleh. Stupid Effin' Movies.
If only life were that perfect. What I'm seeing at twenty one is a generous helping of love with a delicious side dish of false promises, jealousy, temptation, delusions, insecurity and other less ordinary words that chill the soul. When the Other Woman is a lingerie model, you might as well fold your cards, quit the table, go home and put a fork through your eye.
No i'm not blinding myself yet. Definitely considering moving to Columbia and restarting life as a peddler of vices though.